Mindfulness
Mindfulness refers to a non-judgmental awareness that arises as we intentionally allow ourselves to observe and take in the unfolding of experience in each moment, as it happens, and just the way that it is. Unpacking these ideas, we find that mindfulness includes non-reactivity to inner experience, such that we can perceive thoughts, emotions, and sensations, without having to react in a knee-jerk (or “mindless”) way. Mindfulness involves experiencing events directly, without the seemingly constant stream of internal chatter and commentary that our minds produce. Rather, the emphasis is on taking in the experience of sensations, emotions, and other aspects of the world without judging or wishing that things were in any way different from how they currently are.
Being mindful includes being attentive to sensations, to surroundings, to words, and to one’s mental events as they are occurring, rather than distracted by future plans or past events (and so “mindless” of one’s immediate experience). This involves the ability to observe one’s sensations or emotions and remain present with these experiences, even when they are uncomfortable or painful.
Mindfulness involves acting with awareness and being fully engaged in the moment, whether this involves listening to a friend, going for a walk, or being in an argument. The opposite of acting with awareness is being distracted, careless, and operating on automatic pilot, and this is associated with not being fully engaged and alive in the present moment ourselves, and may lead those around us to feel ignored or misunderstood.
Being non-judgmental of experience means that we do not criticize ourselves for the thoughts, reactions, or emotions we may experience, but rather accept these occurrences as they are. It has been noted that much distress arises because we tend to wish that things were different, either within ourselves, in others, or the world; and we tend to increase our distress as we criticize, judge, resent, or otherwise demand that the present reality be different from the way that it is. The practice of mindfulness includes observing when we are having such thoughts, and then calmly, and with self-compassion, giving such thoughts a label such as “judging” or “criticizing,” and then observing with curiosity as these thoughts fade from our mind, just as clouds float by and disappear. With this non-judging stance, sensations and emotions, even those that may be uncomfortable or painful, are noted, experienced, and accepted, without avoiding or attempting to change them. For many, the experience of stepping back from the struggle against negative emotions or physical discomfort can be freeing, replaced by acceptance of events as they are.
This is not to suggest that practicing mindfulness results in the end of our worries, self-critical comments, or daydreaming about the future. Rather, through the practice of mindfulness, we learn to view such thoughts as simply mental events that the mind produces, and not necessarily true statements. Rather than becoming wrapped up by such thoughts and identifying closely with them, mindfulness practices help us to take a step back, distancing ourselves from our thoughts, and simply non-judgmentally allowing these thoughts to pass across our mind as clouds pass across the sky.
BECOMING MORE MINDFUL
You can develop a greater understanding of mindfulness and greater skill in carrying mindfulness into your daily life through regular periods of deliberate mindfulness practices. This will develop your ability to live mindfully, so that your engagement with daily activities takes on a more intimate, observant, curious, and grateful quality. Living mindfully involves bringing these attitudes and practices into the moment by moment experience of daily life—standing by the pump while filling your car with gas, and noticing the vibration of the fuel nozzle; noticing the texture of the fabric of the chair as you sit down to watch a movie; hearing the timbre and melody of the voice of your friend telling a story. While we are often drawn to our continuous internal thought stream of tasks to complete, plans to make, decisions to finalize, worries about what may happen, or regrets about things that have happened, mindfulness involves settling our attention in the current moment.
Mindfulness Exercises
The regular practice of mindfulness exercises trains us to bring our attention back, again and again, to the full experience of the present moment, and doing so in a way that is accepting, inviting, and non-judging, experiencing events as they are without attempting to change, control, criticize, deny, or distract from them. To the extent that we can experience the full range of sensations and emotions without attempting to distract from them, we can become more fully engaged in our lives, and can more deeply and authentically interact and engage with others, with our jobs, and with the activities and goals that are meaningful to us.
Mindful Breathing
Before attempting to extend mindfulness to all aspects of your life, it is helpful to begin practicing with an experience that is emotionally neutral. Sitting comfortably, this exercise involves drawing your attention to the sensations of your breath, noting the feelings at the nostrils, or in the belly, as the breath enters, then leaves the body. Without attempting to control the action or pace of breathing, simply rest in awareness of the feeling of your breathing as it occurs. As your mind produces thoughts that draw you away from awareness of the breath (and it will do so almost constantly), simply notice that your attention has wandered, and then gently, and with deep kindness and self-compassion, escort your attention back to the sensations of the breath. If your mind produces thoughts such as, “I keep messing up—I’m not doing it right!” or, “I really need to get started on that project,” simply notice the thoughts, accept that they have occurred, and give a mental label such as “worrying” or “planning.” Then, with kindness and self-compassion, allow these thoughts to drift through and out of your awareness, returning your attention once again, over and over, to the sensations of the breath.
Most people start with approximately 10 minutes of practice with this activity. As this may be the first mindfulness exercise you have tried, it is important to emphasize that the goal is not to avoid being distracted by thoughts, but rather to notice over and over when you have become distracted, and to gently escort your attention back to the breath, over and over. If you become distracted a thousand times while practicing mindful breathing, then with self-compassion and kindness, return your attention to the breath a thousand times. The repetition of guiding one’s attention, and of offering self-compassion each time, helps one to acquire and strengthen the habits of mindfulness so that they can be introduced into one’s daily life.
Mindful Walking
As you prepare to begin walking, notice your posture, and the position of your shoulders, neck, legs, and feet. Allow your knees to be softly flexed, and your arms to fall loosely to the sides. With a soft gaze directed ahead, draw your attention to the sensations of your feet in their shoes as they contact the ground, noting how your feet support your weight. As you begin walking slowly, notice the sensations in your leg as it pushes off the ground, the toes moving against the surface, and the other foot rising, gliding forward, and making contact again with the surface. Note the shifting of weight as it transmits through the feet, the legs, the rebalancing of weight in the back muscles, and the arms repositioning.
As you walk several paces, expand your awareness to take in sensations of breathing, the feel of the breeze across your skin, the sounds that your clothes may make as you move, the sounds of your shoes contacting the surface. When your mind begins to produce thoughts, or starts to wander, notice where it has gone or what thoughts it has produced, and then, with kindness and self-compassion, gently escort your attention back to the sensations and immediate experiences of walking.
Mindful Eating
Start with a single item of food, of any type. Take in through your fingers the surface texture, heft, and shape of the food. Note how it feels in your hand, the smoothness or roughness, coolness or warmth. Take in the image of the food visually; what colors emerge? What shapes, curves, or edges are present? As you bring the food to your mouth, what aromas do you detect? Are more than one different types of smell present? Rather than judging or evaluating these sensations, simply observe them, taking them in as they are.
With the first bite of the food, take your time to allow the different textural sensations to arise, spread throughout your mouth, across your tongue and against your teeth. Observe the tastes that emerge, and note how they may change from moment to moment, some flavors fading, others emerging. Pause while chewing, and experience the tactile sensations, taste, and aroma of the food, and then note the sound and sensation as you swallow the food.
Mindful Morning Routine
As you become familiar with the practice of mindfulness during different activities, you may wish to extend mindfulness into many of your daily experiences. Developing a mindful morning routine can help to start the day with greater focus, peace, and clarity of thought, and can promote the practice of mindfulness during subsequent activities. A useful first step in setting a mindful morning routine actually begins before going to bed, by preparing for the mindful morning activities. First, ensure that you have a comfortable, uncluttered space to sit or lie down the next morning. If you listen to an audio-guided script, have the equipment set up, with earbuds on hand if needed. Set your alarm clock to allow you sufficient time for meditation, any physical movement exercises you might wish to do, and the rest of your regular morning tasks, without excessive rushing.
If you plan to wake earlier than typical, it is very common to hit the snooze button, turn off the alarm, or otherwise remain in bed. A simple but effective strategy to counter this is to rehearse, after you get in bed, how you will respond to the earlier alarm. Mentally rehearse the process of hearing the alarm, turning it off, sitting up and setting your feet on the floor, then standing. If you find waking early especially difficult, try actually practicing the physical movements of getting out of bed to strengthen this rehearsal. Before sleep, remind yourself of your intention to arise with the alarm clock to start your mindful morning routine.
Next, go to your place of meditation, sitting quietly and then beginning the meditation, either guided by audio or self-directed. With time you may wish to vary the nature of the meditation exercise, but breathing meditation is a perfect way to begin. At the conclusion of the meditation time, it may be useful to take a few moments for gentle physical movement, either a stretching exercise, yoga, or a cardiovascular exercise routine. During these activities, continue to notice and observe the sensations, thoughts, and emotions that may arise in a curious, kind, and non-judgmental way. As you transition to showering, dressing, eating breakfast, and other activities, open your senses to the sounds of the water splashing, the sensation of the towel against skin, the texture of breakfast between the teeth, and colors of fabrics and surfaces around you. As you prepare to leave home, remind yourself to return again and again throughout the day to moment-by-moment experiences, just as they occur, with an open heart, with curiosity, and with kindness to yourself and others.
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